I live in Montreal for close to two months now. I am studying for one month. The amount of things I experience and learn is great, and I would love to share as much as possible with you. On my desk is a list of things I would really like to write about, opinions, philosophies, frustrations. And at a certain point I will write about all of these things. But I figured today it would be better to just give you a short update of what is going on in my life, since you did not hear my voice for a while.
Let me start with the studying part of my life. This is definitely the most time consuming part of my life right now. I take six courses this semester:
-Counselling Skills
-APA-lab
-Ethics in Clinical Practice
-Group & Family Drama Therapy
-Improvisation and Drama Therapy
-Practicum + Supervision
Except for the APA-lab, which is all about style rules for scientific writing for publishing, I find all my courses very interesting and useful. APA is useful too, of course, but it is just very dry and boring to sit in class listening to someone talking about punctuation and how to refer correctly for two hours. My other courses are very practical oriented, which means I get to practice a lot in class. I love this, because I think it is very important. However, it also means that I have to do all the theory absorbing after class, back home. The amount of readings we have is crazy! I try to keep up and this far I managed to read all the recommended texts before class, but I am not as fast in English yet, so sometimes it is very frustrating. My classmates have difficulties with the amount of it all too, so that is in a way comforting. Next to the reading there is also quite some writing to do: journals, reflection papers, essays.
My practicum took a while to get sorted out, but this week I will be able to start working in the field. There are two sights I will be working at as a drama therapist. One is a school for kids with behavioural problems, average age 17 years old. The other is a Jewish centre for the elderly, average age not appropriate to ask. Interesting combination right? I visited the school last week and I am very enthusiastic about working there. It is a small school (80 students) and I think the view of this school is close to what I believe in. It is going to be challenging for sure, so I like that. This Monday will be my first visit to the elderly. I think there might be some holocaust survivors, which is interesting for me, since I want to specialize in (war-) trauma. But I don’t really know what to expect yet in terms of population and mental conditions, so I am looking forward to Monday.
So bottom line is that I am pretty busy. But I do not want to complain about that, since I chose to be here for a reason and this reason is still there and very important to me. I think coming here to study was a good decision. These two years will help me become a better drama therapist, specialized and ready to apply for a job with WarChild, or start my own projects in Africa. It is a great feeling to see everything narrow down more and more, getting closer to my goal.
Studying is the reason I came here, so of course it is a big part of my life here, but I do also need some self care, some stupid fun. So what else is going on in my life?
I am trying to discover Montreal’ s nightlife bit by bit.This far I went to a small dance festival, a movie and of course a gay club. Yesterday two classmates and me tried to go to a concert, but we ended up nowhere really. The thing with the city seems to be that you have to have a plan. And everyone knowing me alittle bit, planning is not something I do in my free time.
I discovered a coffee shop, very close to school, which is a great escape from everything. Writing this down I realize this might sound confusing to my Dutch friends. I mean an actual coffee shop where they sell coffee. It is stuffed with second hand really comfortable chairs and sofas, the music is always great and they have good coffee. Except for shisha there is no smoking inside. I go here in between classes to eat my lunch or read a little.
I am getting ready for winter, although I really have no idea what to expect. Minus 35 – 40 degrees doesn’t tell me anything. I mean, that sounds very cold, but I have no idea what that is like. So I get myself informed and discover that I need to buy good boots and maybe even a winter jacket. My parents have send me my long black winter coat, but people keep telling me it is not enough… It is getting colder every day, so I feel I need to hurry up, before my balls freeze off (people really scared me).
I decided to move. I will follow my beautiful roommates to their new apartment which will be cheaper, cleaner and better located for me. This will probably happen around Christmas.
Well, I guess this is it for now. I hope I will have time soon to write about some of the topics I mentioned in the beginning. For now, you at least know I am still alive and kicking and what I am up to now a days
All of you who know me a little bit, know that I am quite social and open to meeting new people of all sorts and kinds. This is one of the reasons why, till now, I had a great time here in Montreal: exploring, enjoying, entertaining and learning. I like meeting new people. That is why I decided to go to the introduction day of the CISA (Concordia International Students Association) today, in spite of the loads of reading I have to do for next week. I thought it could be a good place to make new friends.
The day started with a gathering in a big beautiful lecture hall. I met Peggah, a girl from Iran who I know from my stay in the hostel. But I barely get the time to get posted on what is going on in her life, because we are split up in different teams. I understand, they want us to meet new people. I want that too, that’s why I came, so fine. Let’s go meet new people!
But before we can do that we have to sit through this whole spectacle in which the board of CISA is introducing themselves and other ‘important’ people. This is where my doubts about coming to this day start. I feel completely out of place. I listen to some business-school-propaganda, followed by stories about how crazy (read: drunk) you can get at CISA parties. Everything seems so superficial. And what is with the screaming: ‘ARE YOU HAVING F U N !?!?!’ every five minutes? I seem to be the only one that doesn’t get it, because around me people are getting more and more enthusiastic.
With everyone around me clapping hands and producing grunts and screams of joy I wonder what is wrong with me. Is this how I should feel too? Do I miss the point? Or am I the one being superficial and do I not give this event and these people a fair chance? I definitely do not aim to be superficial and decide to stick around a little longer and give it a chance. So when we leave the lecture hall to do some games in our teams I take a deep breath, shake of the annoyance and start over. All ready to shake new hands and tell people my name and where I am from as if I never told such interesting things to anyone before.
I do not really like the games (which involve a lot of touching each other), but neither do most of my teammates, so that works kind of binding. I make some jokes with some people and even get passed the standard ’so where are you from?’ with some, but still… I feel very much out of place.
I don’t care about how rich your daddy is and I find the ‘and then I was SO drunk’-stories rather sad. Of course I do not tell people that, I still want them to like me. But every time I try to talk about something other then partying, drugs and sex, people tune out and walk away or just look at me really confused. I decide to just not talk about me or things I value anymore and to just pretend I am interested in their beer adventures.
When during the BBQ I find myself talking to someone who cannot stop looking at my breasts and someone else starts doing a strip act on a chair, I decide to leave and go home. I don’t feel like joining these people in a bar-atlon tonight. I guess I am not really a party girl. I feel very tired and I have to admit I am a little bit disappointed. This was not what I expected at all. I guess I got spoiled, meeting so many interesting people with big goals and visions the past year. But I can’t help finding it disturbing that all these people I talked to, seem to have come all the way to Canada just to party and show off. I wish they could see how privileged they are just because they are free to go wherever they want. I know I do.
Maybe I am wrong about the people I met today. Maybe I am the one being superficial. I hope so. I hope it is my mistake.
Yesterday morning 8 AM:
I open my eyes and discover with joy that I stare at the ceiling of my new room. Last night was the first night in my new room and I am very happy to have made it out of the basement because I started to grow a humped back. Rising from my squeaky (not so new but non the less new to me) bed I stretch myself and listen carefully to hear if the shower is free. It is! What a good start of an exciting day.
Today I am going back to school. And I feel like a 4 year old must feel: nervous and excited, non the less ready and prepared, feeling like a big girl. To bad my mom is not around to walk me to school, she would be real proud of me. I decide to wear my red dress: neat but comfortable. I take a last look in the mirror, brush my hand through my hair and off I go.
As I step out into the garden I discover my bike is gone. Bummer! I will have to take the Metro then. No worries, I still have time. Papineau station is really close to my home and the stop for Concordia University is on the same green line. It only takes me 15 minutes to get there. It is a beautiful day and I enjoy the walk. Everybody keeps telling me to enjoy this weather since it will be minus 40 degrees in a few months. So I do.
As I arrive at the Fine Arts Building in which the Creative Arts Therapy department is, I discover a room full of new students, all excited to start their studies and meet their fellow students. Some people already know each other. I figure that is because they did the introduction course this summer. I don’t know anyone yet, but how hard can it be to find nice and social people in a room full of people who want to become therapists? And I am right: within 5 minutes I am talking to a very nice woman who will start her studies in Visual Arts Therapy.
After the welcoming speech we split up in the disciplines music, visual arts and drama and I finally discover with who I am going to study the next two years. There are eleven of us: 10 woman, one man. Most of us are around my age, three woman are real adults (I guess between 40 and 50 years old). I am the only one in the group that was not in the introduction course this summer, which makes me feel a little bit like an outsider. But I don’t have time to worry about it too much, because like real drama therapists we enter the play space rather sooner then later. Playing together is a very nice way to get to know each other and I surely prefer it above talking (and you all know how much I love talking).
We play and show the others who we are, what we feel and what we expect in the following years. After this workshop we have a delicious lunch, we get to talk too second year students, we get stuffed with information and at 4 PM I leave University. Together with one of the older ladies in my class I walk to the metro station. We discuss what kind of place we would prefer for our practicum. For the first year we get placed by the staff members, so I am a little bit nervous about this being out of my control. Especially since you get paired up. For the whole year I will work with the same co-therapist in the same center, so it is of big influence to the whole learning process. I will get to know this week where and with whom I will be placed. I will have to trust the professionality and judging abilities of my teachers in this. Until now I am very impressed by my teachers (of whom one worked with my Belgian friend Daan in the past, yes it is small world), so I have faith. But I have to admit to being a little bit nervous.
When I came home I was pretty tired from all the new things, impressions, people and thoughts. So it was extra nice to be able to go into my new room, which is already very Trude: